I recently found a blog post that summarizes some useful negotiation lessons. The blog is entitled Your “Tools for Success in the United States.”
The five-part guidance for the first-time negotiator in the Unites States is informative about what to watch out for and what not to do. I have listed the guidelines along with comments from people with experience in negotiating with Americans. I have also added a section on “Preparation.”
Commenters:
“It is important to be clear and direct when negotiating with Americans.” (Sherk)
“Turkish people, like many Asian cultures, may not explicitly state what they really want to say but expect people to understand immediately. This is why Turkish people in negotiations with Americans have to be clear about what they say. When Americans say “No” they mean it as an absolute answer. However, some Turkish people, when they are asked a question, if they answer “No” they might expect an American to ask again. But Americans do not ask the second time. They accept No as No. Americans give importance to punctuality. Thus, you have to be on time for appointments and meetings.” (Conka)
“Be prepared for the clash between the long- and short-term outlook.” (Mehta)
“America is a large diverse country with many regional sub-cultures. Although Americans are generally friendly, it is sometimes important to learn if your opposite number is someone who wishes to be very direct.” (Sherk)
Commenters:
“In the informal negotiations I have observed–especially between tourists and shopkeepers–Americans like to feel special, like VIPs. When they are treated this way they seem to be more open to doing business (and spending money) because they feel others have recognized their importance and can be trusted.” (Alebouni)
“The most important thing to remember about International negotiations is that personal relationships are paramount.” (Mehta)
Continue readingThe Bert & Phyllis Lamb Prize in Political Science
Negotiation Guidance Associates is pleased to announce the Bert and Phyllis Lamb Prize in Political Science.
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by Daniel R. Merz, Ph.D*
One of the more difficult personalities to face in mediation is when one of the parties exhibits an egotistical, armored, and intimidating personality. These individuals will often display additional character traits such as bullying, grandiosity, vanity, and a lack of empathy. Initially they can be charming and self-confident yet hidden behind this is a cold and calculating attitude. They may resist your best efforts. If you are not careful about how you manage the mediation process, this person will eventually identify you as an enemy to be defeated.
In a highly stressful mediation that involves a difficult personality, you will likely have a better chance of success if you can avoid certain approaches or reactions.
Avoid power struggles. You will be up against someone who has spent most of their lifetime getting their way. They use a win-at-all-costs mentality when they encounter resistance to what they want. Related to this self-centered attitude is the use of mental and emotional intimidation. In the face of this you need to know your weak spots. Because these areas of your personhood will be the first place the difficult person will strike.
Resist the desire to retaliate or defend yourself. Assertive responses by the mediator to intimidation are often experienced as an assault on the person’s sense of specialness, grandiosity, and entitlement. The person using intimidation is probably experiencing you as a threat. See if you can identify and explore his or her feelings behind the defensive behavior. Give the person room to talk about the feelings behind his or her attack. Then you will be in a better place to reassure the individual that you are not there to judge or threaten him or her. In as much detail as you can, clarify your role as a mediator. Ask the person to describe his or her goals for the mediation. Continue reading
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