Protected: American Negotiating Style: Part 4
NGA Sponsors Lamb Prize in Political Science
The Bert & Phyllis Lamb Prize in Political Science
Negotiation Guidance Associates is pleased to announce the Bert and Phyllis Lamb Prize in Political Science.
The Lamb Prize has been awarded annually since 2014.
The Lamb-Prize:
- Is a $1,000 cash award.
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The Selection Committee for the Lamb Prize is chaired by
Donna Lybecker, Ph.D. Department of Political Science, Idaho State University.
Visit www.lambprize.org to learn more.
Mediation With Difficult Individuals
by Daniel R. Merz, Ph.D*
One of the more difficult personalities to face in mediation is when one of the parties exhibits an egotistical, armored, and intimidating personality. These individuals will often display additional character traits such as bullying, grandiosity, vanity, and a lack of empathy. Initially they can be charming and self-confident yet hidden behind this is a cold and calculating attitude. They may resist your best efforts. If you are not careful about how you manage the mediation process, this person will eventually identify you as an enemy to be defeated.
In a highly stressful mediation that involves a difficult personality, you will likely have a better chance of success if you can avoid certain approaches or reactions.
Avoid power struggles. You will be up against someone who has spent most of their lifetime getting their way. They use a win-at-all-costs mentality when they encounter resistance to what they want. Related to this self-centered attitude is the use of mental and emotional intimidation. In the face of this you need to know your weak spots. Because these areas of your personhood will be the first place the difficult person will strike.

Resist the desire to retaliate or defend yourself. Assertive responses by the mediator to intimidation are often experienced as an assault on the person’s sense of specialness, grandiosity, and entitlement. The person using intimidation is probably experiencing you as a threat. See if you can identify and explore his or her feelings behind the defensive behavior. Give the person room to talk about the feelings behind his or her attack. Then you will be in a better place to reassure the individual that you are not there to judge or threaten him or her. In as much detail as you can, clarify your role as a mediator. Ask the person to describe his or her goals for the mediation. Continue reading
Transition Management, Part 1: The Interpersonal Negotiation
By
There comes a time in everyone’s life when a change produces a reaction that calls for a psychological readjustment. Change is a fact. Transitions are important in all phases of our lives. When we face a transition we have an emotional reaction. Then we must make an adjustment to the change that has occurred. How can we manage that adjustment in our closest personal relationships?
Example Transition and How it Was (Mis-)Managed
Jake just got a promotion. In addition to getting more money, the new position presented a challenge to Jake’s level of skill on the job. He learned very quickly that there was a deficit in his skill-set that was going to require Jake to spend more time learning new programs and how to interpret data that he had never before seen in his work. Not only was he going to earn more money, he was also going to have to spend more time away from his wife and their young family. His wife, Nora, was going to have to make some adjustments too. After a short time with Jake in his new position, Nora was experiencing resentment about Jake’s absence. He was often away from home and provided less child care. Nora couldn’t help but display her angst toward Jake which created more reaction from him. Continue reading